Urgent Message! The World's Greatest Sinner returns to TCM!

Many moons ago, I reviewed The World's Greatest Sinner after catching it on late night TCM. To briefly recap, the movie follows a man named Hilliard who quits his job, forms a new political party, embraces rock'n'roll, declares himself a god, seduces the young and old alike, and engages in increasingly bizarre activities. And in reality, the movie is so much stranger than it already sounds. It's an amazingly bizarre no-budget movie from 1962, with all music done by a pre-Mothers of Invention Frank Zappa. For anyone with a tolerance for cinematic weirdness, I can't recommend it enough.

The downside to recommending this movie, though, is that it's not available on DVD. Which isn't necessarily all that suprising, given how strange it is, how low budget it is, and how incomprehensible the filmmaking can be at times. But all those things help to contribute to its downright, shit-your-pants amazingness.

But good news! TCM will be playing it again next Friday night, April 17th, at 2am (EST). See the TCM Underground website for more information. So mark your calendar's, find a friend who has cable, maybe get some booze, and hunker down for a fantasia of cult movie fantasticness. Miss it again, and who knows when you'll get another chance. (Probably never! Do you hear that? Never!)

Oh my god. Or: The craziest news no one cares about but me that I’ve heard in a long time

While on the phone with my brother Brad, trying to troubleshoot how to watch Michigan play Clemson in the first round of the NCAA tournament (with me living in Austin and him living in St. Paul, both of us got stuck with the Texas v. Minnesota game on TV), he mentioned that he had read that some Black Metal musician was being released from prison, but he didn't know who. I assumed it was Gaahl, former lead singer of Gorgoroth, because it seems like that guy is either going to or being released from prison every other week. But no, it wasn't Gaahl. It was Varg Vikernes! VARG VIKERNES IS BEING PAROLED! Hide your children, foreigners, and social progressives!

For those who don't know, here's a little background. Black Metal, and specifically Norwegian Black Metal, is a subgenre of extreme metal that has gained global notoriety for its almost cartoonish level of violence, sometimes on stage, but mostly off. Various musicians have been arrested for a variety of violent crimes that include murder, arson (specifically church burnings), kidnapping, and torture.

Varg Vikernes ascended to the dubious level of being the quintessential representative of all dangerous and violent actions in the Black Metal scene. Varg was not only a founding member of the scene in the early 90s, but was also member of the godfather of all Norwegian Black Metal bands, Mayhem. Performing under the pseudonym Count Grishnackh, Varg performed with Mayhem and released large amounts of music via an assortment of solo projects, establishing himself near the top of the Black Metal music and social world.

In 1993 Varg viciously and repeatedly stabbed Mayhem band mate Øystein Aarseth (stage name Euronymous) to death in the hallway of Aarseth's apartment building. When Varg was arrested, police found a massive cache of explosives complete with plans to blow up a leftist organization, Blitz, in Oslo. In 1994 Varg was charged and convicted of murdering Aarseth and for his involvement in a number of church burnings. Varg's infamous reaction to receiving the maximum sentence of 21 years was to simply smile.

Since his arrival in prison, Varg has continued to record and release music, mainly as Burzum, one of his solo incarnations. He has also written extensively on a number of far right wing topics, reinventing himself as something akin to a fascist, white-power thinker. (Though that Guardian article makes it sound like Varg has abandoned the right-wing philosophizing and is embracing humbleness.)

And now he is being released from prison after serving 16 years of his sentence. Crazy. I can't believe that they are letting him out early. Unless he has undergone some sweeping personality changes in prison, the guy is batshit crazy, racist as hell, and obviously dangerous. But what do I know? (Admittedly, very little.)

I've heard some Mayhem, but nothing from Varg's days, nor have I ever heard any of Varg's solo stuff. It's my understanding that arson, murdering, and hardcore xenophobia aside, Varg is an extremely talented musician. But I think I'll just stick to my Emperor and my Melechesh and my what have you, and try to keep my distance from people like Varg.

Thank you for reading this installment of "The craziest news no one cares about but me that I've heard in a long time." Here's a picture of Varg when he found out that he got that vacant apartment in your building. Enjoy!

I’m sorry, I swear, but I doubt I’ll do better. Or: Lots of stuff about Prince.

After an uncharacteristically fruitful January (16 posts!), I really dropped the ball in February with that one lone post. I would like to promise that I'll pick up the pace again, but to be honest, I'm busy and I don't have anything particularly interesting to write about.

But in the meantime, to make up for it, I suggest you watch the following videos from An Evening with Kevin Smith, in which Smith recounts the week he spent at Paisley Park trying to make a documentary about Prince. And yes, Prince is as weird and/or awesome as you'd think.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

This whole thing really reminded me of that Chappelle Show skit with Charlie Murphy talking about the night he and his friends played basketball against Prince and the Revolution. I assumed the story was made up, but now I'm not so sure.

And I cannot suggest strongly enough that you watch the video for Prince's "Batdance" that Smith references at the very end, click here.

“No zombies have been seen in the area, and with any luck, Tuesday’s cold front killed off any undead…”

I've mentioned in the past some of the things about Austin that I really appreciate, such as men in g-strings and trustworthy auto mechanics (though, that auto mechanics thing is debatable). Well, like all people, places, and things (and any noun, really), Austin isn't perfect. Traffic is terrible, for instance. Oh, and the zombies.

Apparently Austin's developed a bit of a zombie problem. But hey, at least they're giving us a head's up about it:

I guess someone hacked into one of those programmable detour signs to warn everyone about the zombies in the area (some of whom are apparently of the dreaded "Nazi zombie" variety). Pretty awesome thing to do, I'd say. Though, I question traffic controller Bruce Jones' speculation that the prank was perpetrated by a "hacker…computer genius from UT." Not so much the UT part, I'd buy that it was a college kid, but a genius? Really? They can't make hack-proof voting machines, but those detour signs are unhackable by anything less than a genius?

Also, as my brother Matt astutely pointed out, "Ms. Katie Petroski [the article's author] is really endangering the citizenry of Austin by suggesting that cold will kill off the zombies."

Too awesome not to steal

I saw this on blog's are about ego a while ago and thought it was too rad to not pass along. I have no idea where this came from, but I'm stealing/reposting it. Enjoy the flow chart of heavy metal names:


Thanks Dustin!

How does this make you feel?

Personally, this makes me feel good.

Good luck and Godspeed, President Obama

Today was a good day.

Apologies for “Kitten Party”

It was brought to my attention by Molly that the "Kitten Party" picture that I included in my "Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009" post was not a painting, as I thought, but in fact a photograph. A taxidermist/artist named Walter Potter created extremely intricate and elaborate displays using stuffed animals.

At first I was horrified when Molly told me this. Then I actually started looking at Potter's work. Dead kittens aside, his work is really pretty incredible. Look at the details in the Kitten Party picture, the tarts on the plates, the tea in the cups, the plates and saucers. And this is only half of a larger piece, the other half shows a group of kittens playing croquet in front of a house. Pretty amazing stuff, all things considered.

And don't worry, not all of his work is posed dead kittens. There are squirrels fencing (I really like that one), frogs training for track and field, rabbits in school, a monkey riding a goat, and plenty others. I was going to post pictures, but accidentally subjecting people to the Kitten Party picture was enough. I would recommend checking out some of his other stuff, though.

C'mon, you know you want to. Do it. Just go ahead and google "walter potter".

And again, my apologies for making you looking at dead kittens before. I swear, it (probably) won't happen again.

Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009

I can't go out of 2008 on that angry rant against Time Warner. That just wouldn't be right.

So here are some things that should help 2008 go out with a smile:

Kitten Party!

Crispin Glover + the Fonze + Jefferson = Amazing!

And for a little inspiration to get us all started on the right foot in 2009, here is Bo Schembechler's infamous "The Team" speech:

Those who stay will be champions.

Happy New Year!

I hate Time Warner

One of the few perks of living in my apartment building is that I get free cable TV. Actually, that's probably the only perk. If you know me, then I'm sure you've heard plenty of stories about my building, including but not limited to my mentally ill neighbors and their shenanigans, the drug addict ODing upstairs, and the fact that it can take over 6 months for them to fill maintenance requests. The downside to the free cable, though, is that I have to put up with Time Warner and their bull shit.

Earlier in the year, a dispute between Time Warner and LIN TV (owner of local NBC affiliate KXAN) resulted in Time Warner pulling NBC from its line-up. I get over 70 channels, and yet I was missing one of the major networks. It didn't help that this happened right about the time 30 Rock came back on the air. (This was eventually settled, and NBC is back).

Even though I get cable TV for free, I have to pay for cable internet. After trying to live without internet for about a year and half, I finally decided that I just had to bite the bullet and order it. In part for work purposes, but also because, like everyone, I just like having the internet. Seeing as I already had Time Warner cable in my apartment, I just decided to order internet from them as well. The $35 a month for internet seemed a little steep, but whatever. That is, until, I got my bill for this month, and the rate has jumped. Now I'm paying almost $50 a month, which strikes me as fucking bogus.

And finally, just this morning, I found out that at midnight, I could lose all Viacom channels. Again, Time Warner is in some dispute, and they're going to screw their customers over by just dropping the channels until it gets settled. I'm not too worried about losing MTV or Nickelodeon, but losing Comedy Central kind of sucks, and I'm not sure what other channels are owned by Viacom. Regardless, it's ridiculous that two massive companies are having some kind of dumbass pissing contest, and in the end all Time Warner customers and Viacom viewers get screwed.

I hate you Time Warner. I'm thinking it might be time to Go Grande, and if you live in the Austin area and are thinking about getting cable or internet, I suggest you do the same. Fucking Time Warner…

I still think the snow is pretty (as long as I don’t have to drive in it)

A few posts back I got a little whimsical about snow in Austin, and ended up sparking a heated debate (or at least what passes for a heated debate here at the OM) in the comments. I half-jokingly said I was going to take a bunch of pictures of the snow while up in Michigan for the holidays. Guess what? I did!

Enjoy some nice snowy pictures of my parents' backyard:

And just because, here's a picture of my cat sitting in my suitcase while I was trying to pack:

Happy Holidays! Have a fun and safe New Years!

It Snowed in Austin Last Night

While watching Anton Corbijn's biopic about Ian Curtis, Control, last night with my friend Molly, I glanced out the window and saw giant white flakes gracefully floating past my window. This will be my third winter in Austin, and I have never seen it snow here. I've seen sleet, freezing rain, and one massive 3 day long ice storm (also crazy-ass hail, but that's more of a spring/summer thing) , but never snow.

We paused the movie and stepped outside to watch the snow for a while. My upstairs neighbors were sitting on their patio watching the snow, and the parking lot of the apartment building across the street had a small crowd, huddled together, enjoying the snow. In that moment, I felt like a true Texan (or at least a true Southerner), standing in the cold, in awe of the snow.

It reminded me of the aforementioned ice storm, which happened during my first winter here. The temperature hovered around freezing, while it rained for days, coating everything in thick sheets of ice. The city (including the university, and hence my job) completely shut down for a few days. I spent my time wandering around my neighborhood. I saw a couple trying to have a snowball fight in their front yard, using the inches-thick ice on the grass as snow. I saw a guy trying to scrape the back window of his car with the claw-end of a claw hammer (and I don't mean gently scraping, I mean full arm swings into his window). They were enjoyable walks; brisk fresh air, trees picturesquely coated in ice, people either enjoying their days off or making fools of themselves in their frustration. As a recent Michigan transplant, I couldn't help but enjoy what I thought was the town's silly reaction to real winter weather.

And then, just two years later, there's me standing in the cold, watching the snow fall, trying in vain to take pictures in the dark. Giddy that it was snowing. I'm sure that I'll get more than my fill of the snow when I fly back to Michigan for the holidays, but for now, I'm happy having spent a few minutes admiring the snow fall in the streets of Austin. I guess context is everything.

“They’re taking our children away”

So, I had mentioned in my previous post that while watching The Sweet Hereafter I noticed a bizarre connection between that movie and the song "They Don't Want Your Corn, They Want Your Kids" by Liars. Well, I said I'd post another entry about it, and here it is.

Some of the things I am going to cover regarding the movie involve some plot points that may not ruin the movie per se, but will definitely give some stuff away. So consider this your spoiler alert. If you're interested in watching The Sweet Hereafter (which I would recommend), I might hold off on reading this.

***Spoilers Start***

As I was watching the movie, I kept hearing bits of dialogue that sounded vaguely familiar. By about the third time this happened, I realized that all these lines in the movie were also lyrics in the aforementioned Liars song "They Don't Want Your Corn, They Want Your Kids". After I realized this, I picked up on a few more lines of dialogue that are also lyrics. Most of the time, the lyrics aren't exact quotes from the movie, but are practically identical. Here is an example:

In one scene, Sarah Polley's character is reading "The Pied Piper" by Robert Browning to two children, and this becomes a reoccurring theme throughout the movie, her character providing voiceover in multiple scenes as she continues to read the poem. The poem includes the lines:

Fathers, mothers, uncles, cousins

Cocking tails and pricking whiskers

Families by tens and dozens

Brothers, sisters, husbands, wives

Followed the Piper for their lives

This is actually what brought this to my attention. The Liars song contains the lines:

Fathers, mothers, uncles, cousins

Families by tens and dozens

Brothers, sisters, husbands, wives

All of them fighting for their lives

Again, not an exact quote, but pretty close (actually, I'm not entirely sure about that last line, but it's close enough). Now, I realize that it seems perfectly reasonable that Liars took their lyrics from the original Browning poem rather than the movie. Which is more or less what I thought, but it kept happening. Here is another example. The character of Mitchell Stevens is talking on the phone to his runaway drug addicted daughter, Zoe. They have the following exchange:

Mitchell: Tell me your news, Zoe.

Zoe: OK. Yesterday I went to sell my blood. I'm in this fucking city, and I'm selling my blood.

Mitchell: That's not news, Zoe.

Zoe: No, but this is. They wouldn't take my blood. Do you know what that means, Daddy? Does it register? I tested positive. Welcome to hard times, Daddy.

Mitchell: What do you want me to do, Zoe? I'll do whatever you want.

Zoe: I need money.

Mitchell: What for?

Zoe: No, you cannot ask me that! Not anymore! You asked me what I wanted, not what I wanted it for. I want money.

Mitchell: Do you have a blood test?

Zoe: You don't believe me? You don't fucking believe me?! I like it when you don't believe me. It's better that you don't believe me, but have to act like you do.

[Both are quiet]

Zoe: I can hear you breathing

Mitchell: I can hear you breathing, too.

[Zoe hangs up phone, Mitchell continues to whisper into the now dead line]

Mitchell: I love you, Zoe. I'll take care of you. I'll take care of you.

Pretty intense, right? Well here are the lines from "They Don't Want Your Corn, They Want Your Kids" sung in a back-and-forth call-and-response style:

Mama, I'm selling my blood

Welcome to hard times

Daddy, I can hear you breathing

I'll take care of you

I'll take care of you

And finally, one last example that I noticed. When Mitchell is trying to convince one of the parents to join the lawsuit, and the parent refuses, Mitchell explains that his daughter is a drug addict. That everyone is losing their children, if it isn't bus accidents, it's drugs. If it isn't drugs, it's any number of other horrible things that destroy our children's lives. He concludes by saying:

Something's happening that's taking our children away.

In the song, the four lines quoted above ("Mama, I'm selling my blood…") are followed with the repeated phrase:

They're taking our children away

I'll take care of you

They're taking our children away

***Spoilers End***

I want to make it clear, it's not like the entire song is somehow lifted from the movie. There are just some lyrics that are obviously inspired by (or taken from) the movie. More than anything, this just seemed extremely bizarre. Buried in the middle of a dense and strange concept album about German witch folklore is a song seemingly inspired by an independent Canadian film from 1997 (that has absolutely nothing to do with witches, mind you). I've just been trying to wrap my mind about what a strange and totally unexpected pairing this is.

Regardless, both the song and movie are amazing. I'd highly recommend seeing The Sweet Hereafter (check out my entry about it to see if it sounds up your alley). I also absolutely love the song "They Don't Want Your Corn, They Want Your Kids." In fact, I love everything Liars do, and They Were Wrong, So We Drowned is definitely my favorite album. It's a strange, dense, ugly album, so it's not for everyone. But it's one of my favorites.

[Note: I totally had the quotes formatting really nicely in Word, then the formatting got all screwed up when I uploaded the post. Sorry about that.]

Groovy Automotive – Another Awesome Austin Legacy

As I had mentioned a few posts back, I had some problems with my car's brakes. Specifically, they didn't work. At all. Well, I got them fixed recently, and just wanted to spread word about another great part about Austin – Groovy Automotive.

Now, Groovy isn't a hold-over from hippy-era Austin. In fact, according to their website, they've only been around since 1993 or something (despite their multi-colored neon sign with the Peace Signs for "o"s), but that doesn't change the fact that they're fantastic. Not only the best auto shop I've been to in Austin, but they are easily the best I've been to anywhere. Cheap. Quick. Trustworthy (they have never tried to fix anything that I didn't explicitly tell them I needed fixed). Courteous. Accommodating. All-in-all, just about the best experience I could expect to have while dealing with one of the shittiest of all errands (god, I hate car troubles).

Really, I just wanted to give Groovy their due as a fantastic mechanic's shop. I can't begin to explain how frustrating I find dealing with car troubles (it doesn't help that I know absolutely nothing about cars), and what a foul mood it puts me in. So to take care of something as serious as brakes that don't work (and they didn't work at all) with so little headache is nothing short of a small miracle.

In the unlikely event that you ever find yourself in Austin with car troubles and don't know where to go, trust me. Go to Groovy.

G-String’d Cyclist: The Musical

This afternoon I momentarily stepped out of my cave-like studio apartment, and ventured into the harsh Texas sun. As I stood next to my apartment building, I saw a heavyset guy cruise by on a recumbent bike, complete with little-kid-style flag sticking up out of the back wheel. As I watched this guy, amazed that his bike was able to stay upright despite his almost unbelievably slow speed, I was greeted with an even better sight. Just as the first guy passed out of view, heading west, another bicyclist entered my view heading east. This guy was on a regular bicycle, and was moving at normal speed. So what made him awesome, you ask? Well, how about the fact that it was a full grown man, riding his bicycle through my neighborhood, in the middle of a pleasant Sunday afternoon, wearing nothing but a green G-string.

A full grown man. On a bicycle. Riding down the street. In the middle of the day. In nothing but a G-string. Just a G-string.

Not only was this event totally fucking awesome, but it also got me thinking. Not so much about men in G-strings. I mean, I already got to see that today. But more about the character of Austin. While this bicyclist was definitely a noteworthy event (as soon as I went inside, I called my brother to tell him about it – after which he provided this post's title), it's not completely unprecedented. I want to be clear, I'm not a long-time Austinite. I've only been here for about 2 ½ years, and I am not even from Texas (Michigan, what!). So this is all based on my somewhat limited experience in Austin and definitely limited knowledge of Austin history.

Back in the 1960s, Austin was the little liberal, counter-cultural oasis for the South and Southwest. A strange, little hippy haven in the big sea of the conservative south. Over the years, Austin's hippy, counter-cultural past has evolved, leaving an indelible mark all over the city. There is the legendary music scene. The well-respected independent film industry. The abundant art galleries. The numerous experimental theaters. The murals that adorn the side of just about every building. The love of local business, organic food, etc.

And then there are some things that seemingly haven't changed all that much over the years. Hippies are still plentiful. There are a bunch of communes all over the city. There is the nude beach, Hippy Hollow. Apparently a lot of those experimental theaters do weird nude fertility plays. And then there's probably my favorite legacy of Austin's hippy past. The fact that, of all the hippy-type stuff to stick around, one thing that is still going strong in Austin is the good ol' fashioned hippy freak out.

Now, I guess I shouldn't say that these freak outs haven't gone unchanged. They aren't full blown Merry Pranksters-style happenings. More like individual expressions of personal weirdness. They may be a little more self-conscious than simple free expression (there is the ubiquitous "Keep Austin Weird" campaign, after all), but that doesn't make them any less enjoyable. The fact that at any moment you can come across something like a guy riding a bike in a G-string really lends the city a certain playful whimsy.

On top of the G-string'd Cyclist, there was the guy last year who hung out in my neighborhood, dressed in flamboyant clothing and a rainbow afro, dancing on street corners while holding a sign that read, "In the future, you will all look like me." There is Leslie, the city's favorite transvestite homeless guy/girl/perennial mayoral candidate (see picture). Actually, Austin has no shortage of transvestite homeless people, a special little subgenre of Austin weirdness. A friend of mine went to the post office downtown, and the man in line in front of her was inexplicably wearing a Superman costume. On the University of Texas' campus, a cadre of students have taken to riding giant unicycles around.

My G-string'd Cyclist induced musings didn't really lead to any grand conclusions, simply a conscious appreciation for the city of Austin. Sometimes I forget how great of a city Austin Is, and it's nice to have a people around who are willing to ride by my apartment in skimpy underwear to remind me of that.

[Note: After leaving a voicemail for my brother about the G-stringed cyclist he responded with the following series of text messages: "G-String'd Cyclist: The Musical", "starring Josh Hartnett", "and Jamie Lee Curtis", "Christmas 2009". Screenplay is in development, and I am currently in talks with Philip Glass to compose the music, with lyrics by Rod Stewart.]

Wow, just wow...

So apparently the US government can more or less do what it wants, where it wants. International borders be damned.

A clothing boutique owner in Denmark has had $205 frozen by the US government for buying dresses from Pakistan.

Basically, the owner (in Denmark, mind you) ordered some dresses from a man in Pakistan, and the US government claimed she was suspected of supporting a terrorist organization and froze her funds. While the boutique owner did her best to comply with the US, she stopped short of tracking down her dress supplier's date of birth, and is currently out $205 and six dresses.

At first I was confused as to why the US would be involved in an international transaction between two people in two countries, neither of which are the United States. Well, if you read the article linked above, turns out since 9/11 the US has been monitoring transactions made over the Swift bank transfer system. No one knew about this until 2006, when the EU caught wind of it, but then let the US continue anyways.

In short, the US is refusing to let a Danish woman buy dresses from the Pakistani dress supplier, monitoring bank transactions all over the world regardless of jurisdiction, and the EU has about as strong a backbone as Congress.

What a world...

Two of my favorite things

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

It's going to be a brave new world...

It has been confirmed. Mario Manningham is leaving the University of Michigan for the NFL. It was good while it lasted. Remember the good times, everybody:










I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure that Arrington is leaving, too. I couldn't find a clip of the behind-the-back grab from the bowl game, but here's this:









I wish those two the best. It was fun while it lasted, but it's looking like a clean slate come fall. Keep your fingers crossed for Pryor.

(Oh, and by the way, I totally stole this entry from MGoBlog. Thanks for doing the work for me, buddy.)